15 Day Affirmation Challenge: Day 14 [Self Image]

I am taking part in PE's 15 Day Affirmation Challenge. For more information, click here.

Today is day 14 of the challenge (already!) and we'll be covering the topic of self image. We have already covered physical looks as part of the challenge, however, self image is a more all-encompassing trait which includes the way we think of ourselves as a whole, including looks.

"Identify at least one negative self-belief."

• One nagging thought I've always had in the back of my mind is that I'm not worthy of all the goals and dreams I have for myself, that I don't deserve, that I'm not good enough for them.

"When did this negative self-belief start?"

• As I've written in Day 2's post, I'm not entirely sure why or how I started to think this. I think perhaps it is a combination of several things including my own personality traits, the reactions of other people as well as circumstances and situations in my life. It's difficult for me to pinpoint exactly one reason or moment in my life that led to this, but I would venture to guess that it started somewhere around early teenage hood (as I was a pretty confident child, but things went downhill from secondary school), which grew and grew as I faced certain disappointments and setbacks in my life, especially in my relationships. I began to feel like everything I hoped for, no matter how small, would just not materialize in the way I wanted it to. That led me to feeling like getting anything I wanted was just too good to be true, that only luck would bring me to my goals and dreams. Then there were many times I've faced rejection (many happening in the last few years) which has led me to question my worth, and whether or not I'm good enough, for anyone, or for any goal I want to achieve. 

"Challenge this negative self-belief."

•  Well, it's certainly true that there were many things I wanted that always seemed out of my reach, and that many a time I would be hopeful for a certain outcome, only to have it go poof right in front of me. It's also true that I've had to face rejection several times, especially in the last few years which, among other experiences in university, battered my self confidence. I think the only way for redemption is to change the way I see these experiences. I have to trust that the reason things didn't go as planned was because there was a better outcome another way, even if I don't immediately see what it was. And as for the rejection, perhaps these people were not the right people for me, at that time, or ever. It's difficult to truly believe in your own worth when what feels like the whole world is telling you otherwise, but the truth is these people didn't stop and take the time to get to know me. They didn't know the core of who I am, my likes and dislikes, the deeper side of me. So it was only a shallow rejection. It tells me that they weren't worth grieving over because I was not in their hearts anyway. If someone can reject another based on a shallow perception of who they are, then they aren't worth that person's time or care or love. In the end, love has to come from myself first, and then it won't matter if people are shallow and narrow minded in their rejection.

"Create new positive beliefs."

•  I am worthy of achieving my goals and dreams. I am capable and competent and have the power to make them come true.
• I deserve loving, caring, genuine people in my life who take the time to get to know me. I deserve people who will stick around to get to know the deeper side of me and love and accept me for it.

 Themes of self image and other related things are always difficult for me, which I suppose is an indicator that there is a wound that needs healing there. It's an uphill battle, but I look forward to facing those demons and winning the war.

"I'm perfect as myself."

15 Day Affirmation Challenge: Day 13 [Health]

I am taking part in PE's 15 Day Affirmation Challenge. For more information, click here.

Today's task is concerning health. Lately I have been becoming increasingly aware of the need to keep my body healthy and fit, including both nutrition and exercise. It is something I have struggled with my whole entire life, and which keeps falling apart whenever I start something new. However, as I'm becoming more aware of potential lifestyle diseases, especially some that run in our family, I want to take extra care to take care of myself - body and mind - and nutrition and exercise are a major part in doing so. I want to be fit and healthy for as long as I live, and not be plagued by illnesses that could have been avoided if I had only started to take care of my health earlier in life.

"Identify at least one negative health habit you currently have."

• I have many, but I will just post a couple. I have utterly horrible sleeping patterns. I have tried many times to get back in sync, but it always falls back into a bad cycle. 
• I don't exercise enough.

"Identify reasons supporting each negative habit."

• Since young, I've had abnormal sleep patterns, but the problem got worse in university when I was on my own schedule and when stress, anxiety and depression crept up on me. Now it's a hard habit to break, because of how long it's been going on. Since I've been home from university, it's been especially bad since I haven't yet found a job and hence don't have a "reason" to get up early in the morning. Sadly it causes my mood to plummet and makes me irritable, but even on those nights I am in bed early, I tend to lie there awake for several hours before falling asleep, then in the mornings, it is excruciatingly difficult to wake up, no matter how many hours I've slept.
• Sometimes the reason is sheer laziness. Other times it's because I haven't planned my day properly and end up just having eaten when I had previously intended to exercise. Also, with the bad sleeping patterns, I also don't eat properly and this causes dizziness when I do try to exercise. Another reason is that when I start looking up for exercises to do, I get overwhelmed by all the different kinds and what they're good for.

 "Identify steps to correct each negative habit."

• I have tried many things to help this, but nothing has worked yet. However, I will begin again, and try to be in bed at least by midnight, and will try the melatonin again. I will attempt to stop using electronics at least an hour before bed. Unfortunately I don't have a chair that fits well at my desk so I'm stuck using my laptop on my bed. Hopefully in the future I'll be able to get a chair that is tall enough for my desk.
• The first step to this is correcting my sleeping. Then I will make a plan for what exercise I am going to do for the week or month. In the meantime, I can also focus on low intensity exercises, such as weights, that will hopefully not make me dizzy.

Health and nutrition are something I have been wanting to get right for so very long now. It's so easy to fall back into bad habits just because they're easy or because you forget you had planned to do things differently. Visual reminders will help, as well as making a list of healthy recipes to try, as well as the various exercises I would like to try in order to meet my fitness goals. I have to remind myself that I am worthy of my dream level of fitness, and I am capable of making this dream a reality.

"I am growing healthier and stronger every day."
 

15 Day Affirmation Challenge: Day 12 [Wealth]

I am taking part in PE's 15 Day Affirmation Challenge. For more information, click here.

Today's challenge is about wealth. Thankfully, up til now in my life, I haven't had to think too much about money since we've been living comfortably on what we have, something I'm very grateful for. However, as a recent graduate looking to get into the working world, I've begun to think more about what it would mean, and what it would take to be financially independent.

"Identify at least one self-limiting belief about money that you have."

• To be honest, I don't have many thoughts about money as an entity. Perhaps the most common thought about money is that it's "evil."
• My second thought might be that I don't know how to make money or make enough so that I can live independently and comfortably, but this is more of a subconscious thought rather than a conscious one (at least up til now).

"Challenge these beliefs."

•  What I really mean in reference to the statement above, is that it can cause people to do evil things (e.g. scam others, be dishonest, steal, lie, cheat etc.) to get more of it. And in this case, it's not the money that is bad, but a person's reaction to it. Having a lot of money is not a bad thing; how you use it is what counts.
• Maybe I don't know right now how to make money, but I can put an effort into learning about the various avenues through which one can create an income, whether active or passive.

"Create new positive beliefs."

• Money is a neutral agent; it is what we make it out to be. It is not evil.
• Earning money is a skill that anyone can learn 

"Identify one positive step you can take towards your financial goal."

• I've had a book called Nice Girl Don't Get Rich for a while now, and although I've flipped through it before, I'll start reading it with intent and learning about the steps I can take to start earning an income. Also, getting a job will be a good start. 

As I said above, I haven't had to think much about money before, but now that I'm going to working soon and earning, I would like to make the best of it, and learn how to meet my financial goals. One of the reasons I look forward to making money is so that I can give in charity, because I believe that this is a very important part of life. Although, no matter what little we have, it is also good to be generous, since by giving, you are earning good :)

"I am financially abundant and money comes to me naturally."

15 Day Affirmation Challenge: Day 11 [Career]

I am taking part in PE's 15 Day Affirmation Challenge. For more information, click here.

Today's challenge is about career. As a recent university graduate, and in fact for many years prior to graduating, career options have been something I've been thinking about for a long, long time. Although I have a vague notion of what I want to do, I'm still confused as to what career I will actually fit well into. Especially now with just a BA, I don't think there is a lot of scope for what I want to do.

"Identify your ideal career."

However, ultimately I have a vision of the type of career I want; that of a helping job. I want to be able to help people, both in the short term but more so in the long term. With a BA in Psychology, I've been veering toward a career in Counseling (which needs a further degree). However, I'm not 100% set on that, plus there is pressure from parental forces who are not in complete agreement with that choice. I am also interested in the coaching field, which seems like something I may enjoy doing as well.

I would love to incorporate my love of writing into my job, and have a self development blog that can bring in income where I share my insights with others, as well as, as a more long term goal, publish a book (or several?!) on the theme of self development.

My *ultimate* dream job would somehow incorporate music into what I do. Music was my first love, the first thing I became passionate about and it's something I'm very good at. It brings a lot of joy into my life and it makes me sad to see it fall by the wayside.

Right now, in the interim between my BA and my Master's I'm considering doing a certification course in TESOL. I'm sort of dragging my feet on it, because even though it'll allow me to travel as well as to earn, I'm a bit (or very much -__-') scared of the unknown.

"Identify 3 things blocking you from pursuing your ideal career now."

•  confusion. My confusion over what I really want to do always leads thoughts about my future into a black hole. I start with the good intention of figuring it out, but then end up confused at all the things I want to do and not knowing what I should put first, or what I would actually enjoy or be good at doing. I'm a person who generally tries to follow my heart, but I've lost confidence that I actually know what that is, and to some people to whom I have to justify my decisions, this is not good enough, they want more "rational" thinking. But I don't want to do something just because it's a good idea to do it, or because it'll make a lot of money; I want to do something I'm passionate about, that I enjoy doing and that I'm good at and in which I'm actually making a difference in people's lives.
• fear/anxiety. I'm afraid of the unknown, and I'm afraid that I won't live up to my expectations, or that I fail at reaching my dreams. I'm afraid of bad things happening if I do go after my dreams. I'm afraid that I won't be any good at what I do and that I won't be making as much of a difference in people's lives as I want or in relation to the amount of time/money/resources spent on trying to do that.
•  knowledge. the first being a lack of knowledge of the ins and outs of the areas I want to have a career in. Also, for some of my future aspirations such as either becoming a coach or a counselor, I need further study in these areas.

"Identify solutions for these obstacles."

•  To be honest, I'm not entirely sure how to solve the problem around my confusion. I think perhaps one way is to find out the daily ins and outs of the lives of those in the careers I"m looking into. One way would potentially be to get in touch with these careers and with the qualifications I have or intend to get and ask them about their jobs and their responsibilities, etc.
• For the fear part of it, this is difficult because while there are larger fears that I mentioned above, I also struggle with anxiety at times, which can affect the "little" things, such as making phone calls to people I don't know, or meeting with others I haven't met before, etc. The one thing I try to do is talk to myself, and remind myself that everything is going to be okay. Even if I make a little slip up, it's not the end of the world. And I can gain a whole lot more from facing my fears than from hiding behind them. I have to act in my brave moments, before the fear takes over again. Still, it's a struggle, but one I'm trying to fight.
• I think this links back to the first solution: getting in touch with people in these careers. Having a better idea of what's involved will hopefully make it easier to figure out where my niche lies. Also, further study in the areas I want to advance in.

Clearly this is something that has been on my mind for a long time, and that has been bothering me for as long as it has. The place I get stuck is not having  a clear goal, for example, a particular role  or an organization I'd like to work for. Sometimes I think I'd like to do something, work somewhere, but then my mind goes on a series of what-ifs and more often I feel like I don't have what it takes. Perhaps the main reason behind my stagnancy in this area is my self doubt, that I'm not sure I can actually live out my dreams. For as long as I've known, I've always had this nagging feeling that I'd never get what I want. And perhaps that stops me from working towards it. I think I have past experiences where I've tried but failed at things, and I've taken that as the gospel so to speak to mean I'll fail at everything.

But that can't be true, because there are things I've succeeded at. There are things I've accomplished that I'm proud of. It's just the negative voice in my head telling me I can't do what I want. I think I have to work from the inside out in trying to change the dialogue in my head and within my self as a first step to achieving my dreams and goals.

I have to somehow make myself believe that I am worthy and I am capable.

 "I'm doing what I love, and earning lots of money doing it."

Affirmation Challenge: Day 1 [New Beginnings]

Today I am beginning my journey on the affirmation challenge which I mentioned yesterday. Today's challenge is about new beginnings.

"What is one area of your life that you have been limiting yourself in because of the past?"

At first, this was difficult, because I couldn't think of any one specific thing. Then after some thought, I realized there were actually so many things I've held back from doing because of the past that I didn't know which one to pick! Upon reflection, I've come to see that much of it is subconscious; after years of believing that things wouldn't work in my favour, I've tended toward the cautious side in order to avoid disappointment.

In being honest with myself, I admitted that the negative voice in my head was the dominant one, and for many years, after repeated disappointments in various areas of my life, I felt like there was no point in taking risks, trying new things or doing things I really wanted to do because the result would have been the same: it wouldn't have worked out anyway.

Since the task asked for something specific, I will use my career aspiration as an example. Currently, as a recent university graduate and on the job hunt, I am considering going abroad to teach English. I am very close to signing up for certification classes - in fact, there is an email in my inbox waiting for a confirmation response from me. However, I've let it sit there for several days now, and I have already missed the deadline previously some months ago.

Why? Despite having studied abroad for four and a half years, I am apprehensive about traveling again, and not being able to fit in with the host culture. My experience during my undergrad was a difficult one, socially, and I came away with my confidence battered, and very unsure of myself in social settings. Additionally, I am afraid that I will not be a competent teacher, and will not be able to make a difference in the lives of those I teach.

"Identify the specific beliefs limiting you."

• I am socially awkward and will not be able to fit in with the culture of any country I visit or live in, as evidenced by my time spent studying abroad.
• I have no teaching experience and therefore will not be able to make a positive impact or be a good teacher to my students.

"Now change this belief."

•  Despite  my experience at university being less than stellar socially, a new country, or new group of people will bring about a new opportunity to prove that not every situation will have the same outcome. I have made friends in the past, and therefore have the ability to make new friends regardless of culture.
• I may not currently have any teaching experience, but the certification classes are all about learning how to be a competent and effective teacher. Additionally, I will have the support of those teaching the course, as well as the main teacher to whom I will be an assistant when hired to teach abroad.

Today's affirmations:

"Today is a brand new day. My past does not define me. The future is mine to create."

Being forced to articulate these limiting beliefs has really opened my eyes to the way I truly think about the situation and the true reasons for my fear. Now that I have explicit knowledge of the reasons behind my behaviour, I can choose whether to remain in fear, or to step out of it, and go after my dreams.

Let's choose to be brave.

Happy New Year 2014!

Image by www.vpwallpapers.com

Happy New Year to all my readers! Cheers to a year that is full of hope and possibility, a year that brings change, progress and a year of moving forward in our lives, our goals and our dreams.

I'm not usually one to make new year resolutions, but this year somehow feels different. I can sense the potential that this year has for change. However, instead of making resolutions, I'm opting for setting goals. Resolutions are promises that tend to be easily broken after a few weeks, and are typically vague notions of what we want, instead of a plan of how to get there.

Therefore, I invite you to join me in setting a few personal goals that you would like to achieve this year.

Here are a few great ideas I've read about for achieving goals which I intend to try myself:

1. Write them down, preferably in a place you can see them frequently. Sometimes the reason we find it so difficult to make changes is that when we're deeply ingrained in a particular habit, we simply forget we had intended to be doing something differently (I have been guilty of this). Reminders are necessary, especially in the early days of habit forming. In addition, write down the steps needed to achieve said goal. This way, you give yourself less excuses to not do something, since you've already worked out what you need to do to achieve your goal.

2. Monthly check-ins. At the end of each month, assess your progress. How far did you come that month? Have your methods been working? Do you need to do something differently? Monthly check-ins are great for assessing whether you are really making progress or not, and helps keep your motivated and on track with your goals. They serve as reminders for the reasons you decided to make the change. Often times we get to the end of the year only to realize we haven't accomplished as much as (or anything) we wanted. Avoid that trap by checking in with yourself on a regular basis.

3. Create a vision board.  This can include pictures and words describing the goals you want to achieve. A visual reminder can be a powerful tool in affecting change. It keeps us motivated, especially in times when it feels difficult to go on. By stating exactly what it is you want, knowing what the end-point looks like, and seeing it all the time, we're less likely to fall back into old habits that hinder us in our journey to achieving our goals.


I would suggest getting a notebook or journal to write down your goals and track your progress.

The notebook I intend to use this year

I wish you all a prosperous and fulfilling 2014! I hope you will join me on my blogging journey this year. I look forward to connecting with a lot more of you, learning, growing and continuing to share my thoughts and perspectives on life with you all.

Peace and blessings.