15 Day Affirmation Challenge: Day 14 [Self Image]

I am taking part in PE's 15 Day Affirmation Challenge. For more information, click here.

Today is day 14 of the challenge (already!) and we'll be covering the topic of self image. We have already covered physical looks as part of the challenge, however, self image is a more all-encompassing trait which includes the way we think of ourselves as a whole, including looks.

"Identify at least one negative self-belief."

• One nagging thought I've always had in the back of my mind is that I'm not worthy of all the goals and dreams I have for myself, that I don't deserve, that I'm not good enough for them.

"When did this negative self-belief start?"

• As I've written in Day 2's post, I'm not entirely sure why or how I started to think this. I think perhaps it is a combination of several things including my own personality traits, the reactions of other people as well as circumstances and situations in my life. It's difficult for me to pinpoint exactly one reason or moment in my life that led to this, but I would venture to guess that it started somewhere around early teenage hood (as I was a pretty confident child, but things went downhill from secondary school), which grew and grew as I faced certain disappointments and setbacks in my life, especially in my relationships. I began to feel like everything I hoped for, no matter how small, would just not materialize in the way I wanted it to. That led me to feeling like getting anything I wanted was just too good to be true, that only luck would bring me to my goals and dreams. Then there were many times I've faced rejection (many happening in the last few years) which has led me to question my worth, and whether or not I'm good enough, for anyone, or for any goal I want to achieve. 

"Challenge this negative self-belief."

•  Well, it's certainly true that there were many things I wanted that always seemed out of my reach, and that many a time I would be hopeful for a certain outcome, only to have it go poof right in front of me. It's also true that I've had to face rejection several times, especially in the last few years which, among other experiences in university, battered my self confidence. I think the only way for redemption is to change the way I see these experiences. I have to trust that the reason things didn't go as planned was because there was a better outcome another way, even if I don't immediately see what it was. And as for the rejection, perhaps these people were not the right people for me, at that time, or ever. It's difficult to truly believe in your own worth when what feels like the whole world is telling you otherwise, but the truth is these people didn't stop and take the time to get to know me. They didn't know the core of who I am, my likes and dislikes, the deeper side of me. So it was only a shallow rejection. It tells me that they weren't worth grieving over because I was not in their hearts anyway. If someone can reject another based on a shallow perception of who they are, then they aren't worth that person's time or care or love. In the end, love has to come from myself first, and then it won't matter if people are shallow and narrow minded in their rejection.

"Create new positive beliefs."

•  I am worthy of achieving my goals and dreams. I am capable and competent and have the power to make them come true.
• I deserve loving, caring, genuine people in my life who take the time to get to know me. I deserve people who will stick around to get to know the deeper side of me and love and accept me for it.

 Themes of self image and other related things are always difficult for me, which I suppose is an indicator that there is a wound that needs healing there. It's an uphill battle, but I look forward to facing those demons and winning the war.

"I'm perfect as myself."

15 Day Affirmation Challenge: Day 12 [Wealth]

I am taking part in PE's 15 Day Affirmation Challenge. For more information, click here.

Today's challenge is about wealth. Thankfully, up til now in my life, I haven't had to think too much about money since we've been living comfortably on what we have, something I'm very grateful for. However, as a recent graduate looking to get into the working world, I've begun to think more about what it would mean, and what it would take to be financially independent.

"Identify at least one self-limiting belief about money that you have."

• To be honest, I don't have many thoughts about money as an entity. Perhaps the most common thought about money is that it's "evil."
• My second thought might be that I don't know how to make money or make enough so that I can live independently and comfortably, but this is more of a subconscious thought rather than a conscious one (at least up til now).

"Challenge these beliefs."

•  What I really mean in reference to the statement above, is that it can cause people to do evil things (e.g. scam others, be dishonest, steal, lie, cheat etc.) to get more of it. And in this case, it's not the money that is bad, but a person's reaction to it. Having a lot of money is not a bad thing; how you use it is what counts.
• Maybe I don't know right now how to make money, but I can put an effort into learning about the various avenues through which one can create an income, whether active or passive.

"Create new positive beliefs."

• Money is a neutral agent; it is what we make it out to be. It is not evil.
• Earning money is a skill that anyone can learn 

"Identify one positive step you can take towards your financial goal."

• I've had a book called Nice Girl Don't Get Rich for a while now, and although I've flipped through it before, I'll start reading it with intent and learning about the steps I can take to start earning an income. Also, getting a job will be a good start. 

As I said above, I haven't had to think much about money before, but now that I'm going to working soon and earning, I would like to make the best of it, and learn how to meet my financial goals. One of the reasons I look forward to making money is so that I can give in charity, because I believe that this is a very important part of life. Although, no matter what little we have, it is also good to be generous, since by giving, you are earning good :)

"I am financially abundant and money comes to me naturally."

Affirmation Challenge: Day 1 [New Beginnings]

Today I am beginning my journey on the affirmation challenge which I mentioned yesterday. Today's challenge is about new beginnings.

"What is one area of your life that you have been limiting yourself in because of the past?"

At first, this was difficult, because I couldn't think of any one specific thing. Then after some thought, I realized there were actually so many things I've held back from doing because of the past that I didn't know which one to pick! Upon reflection, I've come to see that much of it is subconscious; after years of believing that things wouldn't work in my favour, I've tended toward the cautious side in order to avoid disappointment.

In being honest with myself, I admitted that the negative voice in my head was the dominant one, and for many years, after repeated disappointments in various areas of my life, I felt like there was no point in taking risks, trying new things or doing things I really wanted to do because the result would have been the same: it wouldn't have worked out anyway.

Since the task asked for something specific, I will use my career aspiration as an example. Currently, as a recent university graduate and on the job hunt, I am considering going abroad to teach English. I am very close to signing up for certification classes - in fact, there is an email in my inbox waiting for a confirmation response from me. However, I've let it sit there for several days now, and I have already missed the deadline previously some months ago.

Why? Despite having studied abroad for four and a half years, I am apprehensive about traveling again, and not being able to fit in with the host culture. My experience during my undergrad was a difficult one, socially, and I came away with my confidence battered, and very unsure of myself in social settings. Additionally, I am afraid that I will not be a competent teacher, and will not be able to make a difference in the lives of those I teach.

"Identify the specific beliefs limiting you."

• I am socially awkward and will not be able to fit in with the culture of any country I visit or live in, as evidenced by my time spent studying abroad.
• I have no teaching experience and therefore will not be able to make a positive impact or be a good teacher to my students.

"Now change this belief."

•  Despite  my experience at university being less than stellar socially, a new country, or new group of people will bring about a new opportunity to prove that not every situation will have the same outcome. I have made friends in the past, and therefore have the ability to make new friends regardless of culture.
• I may not currently have any teaching experience, but the certification classes are all about learning how to be a competent and effective teacher. Additionally, I will have the support of those teaching the course, as well as the main teacher to whom I will be an assistant when hired to teach abroad.

Today's affirmations:

"Today is a brand new day. My past does not define me. The future is mine to create."

Being forced to articulate these limiting beliefs has really opened my eyes to the way I truly think about the situation and the true reasons for my fear. Now that I have explicit knowledge of the reasons behind my behaviour, I can choose whether to remain in fear, or to step out of it, and go after my dreams.

Let's choose to be brave.