Sunday, 20 July 2014

15 Day Affirmation Challenge: Day 11 [Career]

I am taking part in PE's 15 Day Affirmation Challenge. For more information, click here.

Today's challenge is about career. As a recent university graduate, and in fact for many years prior to graduating, career options have been something I've been thinking about for a long, long time. Although I have a vague notion of what I want to do, I'm still confused as to what career I will actually fit well into. Especially now with just a BA, I don't think there is a lot of scope for what I want to do.

"Identify your ideal career."

However, ultimately I have a vision of the type of career I want; that of a helping job. I want to be able to help people, both in the short term but more so in the long term. With a BA in Psychology, I've been veering toward a career in Counseling (which needs a further degree). However, I'm not 100% set on that, plus there is pressure from parental forces who are not in complete agreement with that choice. I am also interested in the coaching field, which seems like something I may enjoy doing as well.

I would love to incorporate my love of writing into my job, and have a self development blog that can bring in income where I share my insights with others, as well as, as a more long term goal, publish a book (or several?!) on the theme of self development.

My *ultimate* dream job would somehow incorporate music into what I do. Music was my first love, the first thing I became passionate about and it's something I'm very good at. It brings a lot of joy into my life and it makes me sad to see it fall by the wayside.

Right now, in the interim between my BA and my Master's I'm considering doing a certification course in TESOL. I'm sort of dragging my feet on it, because even though it'll allow me to travel as well as to earn, I'm a bit (or very much -__-') scared of the unknown.

"Identify 3 things blocking you from pursuing your ideal career now."
  •  confusion. My confusion over what I really want to do always leads thoughts about my future into a black hole. I start with the good intention of figuring it out, but then end up confused at all the things I want to do and not knowing what I should put first, or what I would actually enjoy or be good at doing. I'm a person who generally tries to follow my heart, but I've lost confidence that I actually know what that is, and to some people to whom I have to justify my decisions, this is not good enough, they want more "rational" thinking. But I don't want to do something just because it's a good idea to do it, or because it'll make a lot of money; I want to do something I'm passionate about, that I enjoy doing and that I'm good at and in which I'm actually making a difference in people's lives.
  • fear/anxiety. I'm afraid of the unknown, and I'm afraid that I won't live up to my expectations, or that I fail at reaching my dreams. I'm afraid of bad things happening if I do go after my dreams. I'm afraid that I won't be any good at what I do and that I won't be making as much of a difference in people's lives as I want or in relation to the amount of time/money/resources spent on trying to do that.
  •  knowledge. the first being a lack of knowledge of the ins and outs of the areas I want to have a career in. Also, for some of my future aspirations such as either becoming a coach or a counselor, I need further study in these areas.

"Identify solutions for these obstacles."
  •  To be honest, I'm not entirely sure how to solve the problem around my confusion. I think perhaps one way is to find out the daily ins and outs of the lives of those in the careers I"m looking into. One way would potentially be to get in touch with these careers and with the qualifications I have or intend to get and ask them about their jobs and their responsibilities, etc.
  • For the fear part of it, this is difficult because while there are larger fears that I mentioned above, I also struggle with anxiety at times, which can affect the "little" things, such as making phone calls to people I don't know, or meeting with others I haven't met before, etc. The one thing I try to do is talk to myself, and remind myself that everything is going to be okay. Even if I make a little slip up, it's not the end of the world. And I can gain a whole lot more from facing my fears than from hiding behind them. I have to act in my brave moments, before the fear takes over again. Still, it's a struggle, but one I'm trying to fight.
  • I think this links back to the first solution: getting in touch with people in these careers. Having a better idea of what's involved will hopefully make it easier to figure out where my niche lies. Also, further study in the areas I want to advance in.

Clearly this is something that has been on my mind for a long time, and that has been bothering me for as long as it has. The place I get stuck is not having  a clear goal, for example, a particular role  or an organization I'd like to work for. Sometimes I think I'd like to do something, work somewhere, but then my mind goes on a series of what-ifs and more often I feel like I don't have what it takes. Perhaps the main reason behind my stagnancy in this area is my self doubt, that I'm not sure I can actually live out my dreams. For as long as I've known, I've always had this nagging feeling that I'd never get what I want. And perhaps that stops me from working towards it. I think I have past experiences where I've tried but failed at things, and I've taken that as the gospel so to speak to mean I'll fail at everything.

But that can't be true, because there are things I've succeeded at. There are things I've accomplished that I'm proud of. It's just the negative voice in my head telling me I can't do what I want. I think I have to work from the inside out in trying to change the dialogue in my head and within my self as a first step to achieving my dreams and goals.

I have to somehow make myself believe that I am worthy and I am capable.

 "I'm doing what I love, and earning lots of money doing it."

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