Friday, 18 July 2014

15 Day Affirmation Challenge: Day 10 [Love]

I am taking part in PE's 15 Day Affirmation Challenge. For more information, click here.

Today's challenge is about love. Unlike yesterday's challenge which focused on relationships in the broadest sense of the word, today's focuses on romantic love. I should have known this would show up in the challenge somewhere, ha. Not that I have anything against love per se, but I just have a whole lot of feelings about it, thanks to some previous experiences as well as my observations of relationships around me. Although when I think about it, it's not love I have the problem with, but rather the way some relationships tend to play out. Love in its truest sense is a beautiful thing, but it can become tainted when a relationships lacks other essential things such as trust, communication and respect. Thankfully I'm not in a place where I'm desperate for love but am content in my singleness. Although there are sometimes moments when I wish for companionship, on the whole I am happy to be where I am relationship-wise. But I digress. Let's see what today's tasks are.

"Imagine your ideal romantic relationship."
  • My top quality for a future mate is someone who shares my faith. My faith is a hugely important part of my life and has influenced who I am by many degrees. I want to be able to connect with my partner on a spiritual level. Sharing the same faith will allow him to understand me and the choices I make on a deeper level than someone who does not. I want to be able to pray with my partner, and use this to build the foundation of our relationship.
  • Effective communication is a must, especially in times of conflict. My past experience with a stone-waller has led me to realize the absolute necessity of being able to discuss and talk about the problems that come up in a relationship. Communication includes both talking and listening. I've realized that much conflict and bad feelings come up because of miscommunication in the relationship - making assumptions, not saying how you feel or what you really think, not trying to understand the other person's perspective, etc.
  • Respect. I think this is absolutely necessary in every relationship. I think perhaps people do not always understand the true meaning of what it means to respect someone. If respect is there, a lot of problems will be more easily solved. If you respect your partner, you listen when they speak, you validate their emotions even if you have different opinions, you strive to do or not do things that you know will hurt or upset them, etc. etc. Part of respect is pulling your weight in the relationship and this includes the mundane such as chores and errands.
  • I would love to be with someone who is patient, understanding, supportive and gentle. As a sensitive, emotional person, I need my partner to not be afraid of emotion - whether mine or his - and understand that it is part of who I am, the way I express myself and not something to be "fixed" or stopped the minute it starts. 
  • Simply put, a nice guy. Someone who is respectful to all, kind, helpful, ambitious but not at the expense of others, and strong in his faith.
"Identify simple steps you can take to make this relationship happen."
  • On reading the article referenced, I think the main thing for me right now is to begin developing my whole self, and reaching my fullest potential. Lately I'd had the feeling that it is time to make positive changes in my life (for my own sake) because I wasn't living up to who I could be, and I was just tired of living the way I was. I think finding myself is the first step to finding that person. To be honest, I feel like I haven't made much progress in my self development journey, however, and it's been soul crushing to keep feeling like a failure. I feel stifled by my physical surroundings and in other ways and despite reading many articles on change and making positive changes, I still feel like I don't really know how to make them happen. But I won't give up hope, and will start to make plans for the things I want to achieve in the near and far future. I'm a believer that people come into your life when you're ready, so I'm trying to make myself ready, but not (only) with the intention of love, but with my personal well being at the core of that intention.
 I can write for days on the topic of love and relationships, my opinions of them, how I feel about them, but I think at the end of the day, all I want is a respectful, loving and supportive companion when the time is right. I don't think there is one way or path to finding this person; they are as varied as there are people, and for some, it may not even be guaranteed. But I think the best way is to be the kind of person you'd want to be with, live or at least strive to your highest potential and never forget that the one person who is first worthy of all your love and attention is yourself.

"From this moment on, I'm attracting my soul mate, and in time to come, we'll meet and forever be bound in love and light."

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