Saturday, 28 September 2013

Letting Go and Moving On: Why Is It Necessary?

Photo by me
Letting go and moving on. Arguably the most difficult thing we must do as humans. It is also, however, vital and necessary to living our best lives. How? In life, nothing is constant; it is a series of phases, of seasons one after the other that we move through, each with a purpose, each meant to teach us something. We move from high school to university to the work place. We move from singleness, to a relationship and back again. We move from darkness to light, from ignorance to enlightenment, and so forth. Some transitions are natural and inevitable; some we have to choose for ourselves.

Much of our suffering comes from trying to hold on to something that no longer serves a purpose in our lives. We think something is meant to be with us forever, so we grasp tightly to it, ignoring the warning signs and making excuses for the pain it causes us. We think that holding on is easier than letting go, that you're not strong enough to live without the object of your desire. But if you don't ever give yourself a chance to find out, how will you know?

It is indeed terrifying to think of leaving behind something or someone who has been an important part of your life. It is tempting to keep replaying all the good times and use that as proof that you shouldn't let go of it, but even the worst of relationships have good times.

In my case, what I struggled with letting go of was the person I fell in love with for the first time. In my lifetime, he was and still is the only person I would say I loved (in the romantic sense). The intensity of my feelings, coupled with my irrational belief that we were meant to be and the fact that life kept throwing us together, caused me to truly believe I couldn't let him go. At my lowest point, I didn't want to. But time proved to me again and again that I was only hurting myself more by holding on. Life was beginning to nudge me to make the decision to let go and move on. In my heart of hearts, I knew it was the right thing to do.

So I took the plunge. 

I began the process of letting go and moving on. And if you had told me a year and a half ago that today I would be the happiest I ever was without him, I would not have believed you. But here I am, on my own, blessed by knowing real, true joy, all because I made the decision to let go.

Every season of our life is meant not only to teach us something, but to prepare us for the next phase. Every single experience we encounter, no matter how good or bad, is necessary for us to become who we are meant to be. They give us the tools that are necessary for us to fulfill our unique purpose.

We can't move ahead and keep growing if we hold on to things that are no longer serving us. We can't fulfill our destiny if we are stuck in the past. 

Listen to the still, quiet voice that is telling you it is time to move on.  Trust that you are strong enough, brave enough, and simply enough on your own, to live a beautiful, happy and fulfilling life. Trust that this ending is the beginning of a new and wonderful phase of your life, one that you could not have experienced if you chose to hang on to the past. Trust that there is something better for you in the future that can come only as a result of letting go.

Nothing is this life is permanent; this is just the nature of life. The sooner we embrace this, the quicker we end our needless suffering. Because while we can dwell on the fact that happy times may not last, we can just as well rejoice in knowing that the dark times will end, the heaviness will lift, and your sun will rise again.

Be blessed.


In future posts, I will be exploring the phenomena of letting go and moving on in more detail. I hope you'll stick around!

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